I think this paper’s thesis was very strong and very straight and to the point, however I feel that it could be altered slightly to cater to the ideas of the body paragraphs. The idea of growth and fixed mindsets was spoken about, where the topic of the benefits of a growth mindset is the main idea versus a fixed mindset. However, the term “growth mindset” is not actually mentioned in the thesis statement and I think this should be revised to fix this. Also, in the final body paragraph, I tossed up the idea that perhaps another quote could be used to either complicate or build upon the previous idea that was talked about. I talked about how another example of multiple selves could be used in order to further expand of the goal of the paragraph as well as reach the required word count. I gave the example of Bruce Banner and The Incredible Hulk, as I gave in one of my blogs, to make something that could be somewhat easy to relate to in the context of the paper.